Wife 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

Also, in true Microsoft fashion, Wife 1.0 provides no options, at the time of installation, as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 7.0 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. With continued use of the program, my friend also noted that system performance seems to diminish.

Some "Wish List" items he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 ...

  • A "Don't remind me again" button.
  • Minimize button.
  • An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
  • An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

Having witnessed all of the problems my friend had encountered, I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by upgrading to GirlFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install GirlFriend 2.0 on top of GirlFriend 1.0. You must uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Other users have said that this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. (You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.)

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that I find really annoying - all versions of GirlFriend continually pop up little "shareware type" reminder messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

*** BUG WARNING ***
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via an Internet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, however, the user would be well advised to take precautions to screen for viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the Internet.